A Silent Musician

A Free Form Column that rarely has a point or a purpose other than to amuse

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Location: Portland, OR, United States

Monday, April 30, 2007

The Union Thermometer

There is an interesting thing here on campus, I call it the Union Thermometer. There is a fool proof way to tell what the forecasted temperature will be for the day or week by this thermometer. What is this thing? Well I will tell you.
The Union Thermometer works this way- the length of skirts on campus go up as the temperature goes up and the length goes down as the temperatures go down. There are random exceptions to the rule but those are usually fixed by the afternoon. Yes, some girls wear mini skirts in the dead of winter. That anomaly is merely Darwin's Survival of the Fittest at work.
Like Kevin said last year at our talk with the girls about dress- Maybe this is a little biased panel, we are all Northern boys. If girls don't wear clothes up north, they die. THIS IS NOT SOUTHERN CALIFORNIA!!! 12 inch skirts can not be worn all year long. THEY SHOULDN'T BE WORN AT ALL!!!!
So in summary, Union's Thermometer is pretty consistent. It even works when the temperature is 24 degrees F and the forecasted for 36 degrees F. Have a nice day.


Blogger Joe said...

I'm very much in agreement. My opinion may be a little biased, though, as I'm a Northern boy, myself.

5/02/2007 2:00 PM  

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